Sunday, February 8, 2015

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quotes - Season One, Part II

     Part two of recapping season one of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Part one is here.) 

     Episode Eight, "The Well".
     "...beings like Thor do exist, leaving us with more questions and an enormous mess to clean up!" - Simmons complains after the space-time continuum is nearly ripped to shreds in London during the events of Thor: The Dark World and Coulson's team is assigned janitorial duty.
    "You know, it'd be nice, just once, if Thor and his people sent the God of Cleaning Up After Yourself," Coulson complains. "They probably have a magic broom for this kind of thing..."
     "I can't think of a single time when something alien in human hands ended well." - Coulson. "Well, I wouldn't mind getting my human hands on Thor. He's so dreamy...." - Skye. "Well, sure, he's handsome, but-" May interrupt's Coulson's answer. "No, he's dreamy."
     "Just because we don't understand something yet doesn't mean we have to regress back to the Dark Ages, talking about magic and fairy tales..." - Simmons shoots down one of Skye's crazy ideas. "Actually, that's exactly what we're going to do." Coulson then announces calmly.
     "Skye, how 'bout you? You got anything?" "Well...I'm lucky that my S.O. volunteered to take the creepy hallway over the slightly less creepy dungeon....room...place. I've got nothing."
     Ward Hulks out on Skye and FitzSimmons, it's an unpleasant scene. After he storms out of the lab, Simmons tries to defuse the situation: "...That was just a biochemical reaction. He didn't mean all that."
     "I'm working it out," he snaps to May. "You're punching things. The last thing you need is to punch things."
     (Ward nearly stabs a guy in the holding cell, only to have him warp the blade on the way down. Then to Coulson) "You were right...he's Asgardian." "Good thing. Otherwise that would've been awfully embarrassing."
     (Coulson reeling off how he knew the prisoner was not of this Earth.) "...and lastly, when I tell people I've had an encounter with an alien, they tend to be a little curious."

     Episode Nine, "Repairs".
     "She's telekenetic? I thought they didn't exist." - Skye. "We've never verified one. That's why we're going to Batesville, to conduct an Index Asset Evaluation and Intake." - Coulson. "...Does that mean we talk to her and see if she has powers?" "Basically."
     "It's a delicate situation, so you're bringing along Warm and Fuzzy?" - Skye to Coulson, talking about Ward and May.
     "...you screamed like a girl." "I am a girl!" - FitzSimmons reminiscing over school memories.
     "I'm not scared of her! Well, I mean, I am, but just because she shot a hundred guys on horseback doesn't mean the Cavalry knows how people work." - Skye.
     "What happened?" - Ward. "We lost communication. And you were hit by a large plumber's wrench." - Simmons. "A wrench? The guy's traveling between worlds, and he's carrying a wrench?"
     "I don't mean to scare you, I just need to use you as bait." - May. "Well, that's comforting..."

     Episode Ten, "The Bridge".
     "So you'll take it off?" Skye asks, referring to her tracker-bracelet. "No," Coulson answers. "But I did ask May to look into the more restricted files." "I was kinda hoping to keep this private." "Agent May specializes in private."
     "So we were right! Chan's cells did solve the combustion problem! Now they can create super-soldiers whenever they want!" - Simmons. "Maybe don't get so excited about it..." Fitz tells her.
     (May turns her back and walks away from Mike's greeting.) "Last time she saw you, you kind of threw her into a brick wall." - Coulson.
     "I'm just saying, this thing could easily go sideways," Ward is arguing with Skye and FitzSimmons. "I mean, the last time we saw him he was a raging homicidal maniac." They all stare at nothing in the middle distance intently chewing their lips. "He's standing right behind me, isn't he?" Coulson speaks up then. "Mike, this is Agent Grant Ward. He's the guy that shot you."
     "'The Psychology of Women: Unraveling the Female Psyche'." Ward reads. "That's an actual book?" Coulson asks. "That's a whole course! Hayward's sister's in there now." Coulson marvels at how understanding women used to be a puzzle that had to be figured out, Ward asks him if he solved any. "A few. Some more rewarding than others." "What happened?" "I died."
     (Mike's testing his new suit. FitzSimmons is explaining everything about it.) "Having powers is cheating. But the suit's pretty cool." - Ward.

     Episode Eleven, "The Magical Place".
     "Agent Hand, I know Skye's methods are...unorthodox, but she's a member of this team. She can help." - Ward. "Agent May, your professional opinion.Will this girl be of any use to us on this plane?" "No." (Later) "It's clear May has an axe to grind with me, but that was way out of line!" - Skye. "No one knows what's in May's head except May." - Ward.
     "Don't touch Lola!" - Skye.
     "It seems you passed out. Now maybe you're ready to tell us what you've memories you're seeing?" - Kidnapper. "I saw....Jordan hitting that game-winner over Russell in the '98 Finals. So clutch." - Coulson.
     "And...if I don't?" - a businessman asks. (Skye's interrogating him, posing as May.) "If you don't, then you spend the next five years in The Fridge." "The fridge?" "It's worse than it sounds," solemnly.
     "I've been on the phone all day. Director Fury. Commander Hill. Everyone wants an update. I can't understand why. No single agent is that important." - Hand. "Coulson is." - Ward.
     "All I did was tell Hand the truth. Skye's of no use to us on this plane." - May. "How can you say that?" - Ward. "She isn't. Not with these agents here, over her shoulder, monitoring her every move." "You wanted her off the plane." "Out of the system. That's how Skye works best."
     "I trust the system. They keep secrets for a reason." - Coulson. Raina taunts him for a while. "Sacrifice is part of the job! I gave up my life!" he snaps back. "You didn't just give up your life. You gave up your chance of a normal one." More taunting follows: "Don't you want to know what happened in Tahiti?" "It's a magical pla -" He stops short. "I keep saying that." "Don't you wanna know why?"
     (Coulson gives out a scream of Ultimate Suffering. Skye follows the sound and find him.) "It's for his own good," Raina tells her. (Skye then knocks Raina out.)

     Episode Twelve, "Seeds".
     "The different academies don't interact?" - Skye. "Not much. The Academy of Communications does, but they're the biggest, and they're focused on data analysis." - Ward. "By far the easiest to get into." - Simmons. "That's where you'd be, Skye." - Fitz. "Thanks...picking up on the rivalry between Science and Operations." (To May) "You and Coulson past all that, or are you gonna help Ward steal their mascot?"
     "Is Science and Technology what you imagined, Ward?" - Fitz. "Yep. No uniforms, no rope course, no defined muscularity on anyone."
     "So, now what?" - Simmons. "Now, we blend in. Skye looks young enough to be a student." - Ward. "You're not exactly Old Man River yourself...And Fitz looks younger than both of us!" - Skye. "Time will come when you won't make fun of me for that. You'll be jealous. You'll be jealous, wrinkly old hags." - Fitz.
     "It's true what they say; you are the smartest person to come through here." - Donnie Gill to Fitz. "Is that what they say? Simmons is probably smarter, technically, but that's because she likes homework more than life itself."
     "That's not far from where I am. I can get there." (Ward opens an exterior door; a gigantic storm is in full force.) "Ah....yeah, I can't get there."
     "Must have destroyed her to hear all that." - May. "That's the thing about Skye....What I told her shattered her world. Her lifelong search led to stories of murder, and now it's too difficult to continue. Her search is over. Her story ends here. but you know what she said?" - Coulson. "Tell me." "She said no, her story started here....That's what she took away from the story; not the family she never had, but the one she's always had. Here I am, telling her something that could destroy her faith in humanity, and she somehow ends up repairing a little piece of mine."
     "But the world is of evil and lies and pain and death. And you can't run from it, you can only face it. The question is, when you do; how do you respond? Who do you become?" - Coulson.

     Episode Thirteen, "T.R.A.C.K.S.".
     "It's time to go undercover." - Coulson. "I hate undercover." - May.
     "You are the least supportive pretend girlfriend that I've ever had." - Fitz to Skye.
     "What are you doing?" - Coulson. "Oh, I'm getting into character. My American persona harbors residual resentment towards her absent American father," Simmons explains. "Blames him for not being there when her mum died. So I apologize in advance if I come off a little cold." "Do you think all that backstory's necessary?" "Past events, like that unfortunate incident at The Hub, have shown me that I'm not good at improvisation. However, I excel at preparation." (It's showtime.) "All Mom ever wanted was your love. To be with you at our two-story Victorian home in the Cotswolds! But could you even give her a moment?" (Simmons is in tears by now.) "What with your banking job requiring you to travel to the States from Tuesday to Saturday every other week? NO!" (Other passengers start to notice the commotion.) "I'm terribly sorry about your loss, dear," an Old Man(Stan Lee!) says to her. "As for you" (to Coulson) "now's your chance to do better. Why don't ya see that you take it!" (Old Man walks away, Simmons stands up and fires away again.) "He's right. You never had any time for her, but you made time for your work. And your prostitutes!" (She storms away, slamming accidentally on purpose into the guy the team's tracking. It makes a mess.) "Prostitues, plural?" Coulson hisses during the cleanup.
     (Later on, still on the train.) "Look at that..." Simmons marvels, still in character. "I haven't seen anything so beautiful since our family's scuba-diving trip to the island of Kotow in southeastern Thailand." "Okay, Simmons, I appreciate all your preparation-" Coulson starts to say before getting interrupted. "But don't you want to know which marine life we encountered?!"
     "That train. It just...." - Ward. "Yep, vanished. Which, might I add, is not easy." - Coulson. (They start back for the Bus, spot a small Italian pickup.) "Keys might be in it." - Coulson. Ward looks dubious. "It's the country! People are very trusting in the country." "It's been hot-wired," Ward notes. "That's suspicious." "I was gonna say fortuitous. Let's get out of here!" - Coulson. (Once they get onto the Bus, they try to figure out FitzSimmons' holotable. After about a minute of repeated failure) "Let's just upload the specs to HQ." Coulson suggests. "Good idea," Ward agrees.
   
     Episode Fourteen, "T.A.H.I.T.I."
     "I'm saying you need to call her family, get them here as soon as possible," a nurse says quietly. "We're her family," Coulson replies, the rest of the team anxiously looking on.
     "People like us....we need people like him." May to Ward, about Coulson.
     (The Bus has been boarded by Garrett and Triplett.) "No worries. I'll find Quinn myself. I'm sure he's tucked between the Jacuzzi and the squash court." -Triplett.
     "...It all sounds so diabolical!" - Simmons. "But it worked. He's walking around." - Fitz. "Yeah. But at what cost?"
     "She's your bride?" Lorelai asks a man named Jimmy. "Since yesterday morning." he answers proudly. "And do you prefer her to me?" "Well, yeah. I pretty much prefer Nicole over everyone, that's why I married her."

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